Insights
by angeline831
Summary: Is it possible for one to be too selfsacrificing? Kyouya's micromanagement reaps better results than he could have dreamed. Tamaki x Kyouya x Haruhi.


DISCLAIMER: Do I look like the type to have created an anime to you? What do you mean you can't see me? Oh well, then, let me help you out: characters, setting, etc. do not belong to me. Only the plot of this story is mine.

* * *

It's very annoying to watch the best friend one has been in love with for a while fall in love with someone else. It's even more annoying when you can't even hate the girl for stealing his attention from you because she's got your attention too.

Tamaki was making an idiot of himself in front of Haruhi again. The poor boy didn't even realize it, but I did. I caught her rolling her eyes as our blonde hero reminded her more and more of the father she effectively mothered. I caught the flush she tried to pass off as anger, but couldn't do so plausibly. I also caught the rueful smile she hid before she rolled her eyes--it was too much like many of my own for me to miss it. That smile said that she found his idiocy inexplicably endearing, and she wouldn't mind seeing more of it. That she, like most of the host club's patrons, had gone and fallen for him, except she'd fallen for the real him and not the princely image he cultivated. See, no matter how much Haruhi tried to hide it, it was obvious to the careful observer that she was nursing an enormous crush on Tamaki, and she knew it.

I couldn't deny (no matter how much I wanted both of them) that they would make a reasonably good pair--Tamaki filled Haruhi's life with the excitement she didn't know she was craving, while Haruhi gave Tamaki a stable influence. Yes, a symbiotic relationship, beneficial to all parties involved. The only difficult part would be to get them to realize what I knew from the beginning. Well, that and the fact that I'd still be pining like one of our clients over the (obviously) unrequited feelings I had for both of them.

* * *

Stage 1 was Tamaki. Oh, Tamaki, where does one start with the blonde boy? I'd loved him from the moment he took the time to show me I could paint outside of the frame my father had set for me, and that I could be a much better person if I thought for myself. The moment he did so, something inside me clicked--a piece had fallen into place that had somehow gone unnoticed before, but now found, would be missed sorely were it to ever leave again. That piece was Tamaki. 

I don't know if he realized how much trouble I had restraining myself that day--everything about that moment screamed "Kiss him!" I knew I had to, though--as I said, were I to scare Tamaki off, a part of me would have died. So I didn't say anything. Still haven't said anything. But now I had the chance to make Tamaki happier than he's been since I met him--anyone could see that he needed Haruhi. So I cornered him after the rest of the host club had left one day.

"Tamaki?"

"Yes, Mom?"

A large part of the rational side of me knew that had to stop--it wasn't healthy, no matter how much I enjoyed hearing it. It made me feel... _vital_, somehow, as if he needed me to be there or his dream club, his _family_ wouldn't survive.

"We need to talk."

Tamaki sat his bag down and gave me his full attention, the weight of which was so strong I nearly lost my train of thought.

"What about?"

Here I hesitated--on one hand, if I could convince Tamaki of what I'd been seeing, I'd be pretty much handing him over to another love and killing the chances of me being with him. On the other hand, though, I _knew_ Haruhi would make him happy in ways I couldn't. And if I mentioned it, I'd always know I had a hand in that happiness. "Haruhi."

Tamaki flew into his (predictable) flurry of excitement. "What about Haruhi? Isn't she coming along well? I do wish she'd reveal herself as a girl, though--Daddy would love to see his little girl in dresses and bows and she would look even cuter than she does dressed as a host! Are you going to help me convince her that that's what she should do?"

If I really wanted to, there was still a chance I could turn back, and steer the conversation elsewhere--Tamaki wouldn't really notice, as caught up as he was in visions of Haruhi in dresses, and I'd still have his attention. But no, I'd started this, so I might as well finish it. I sighed. "Tamaki, that's what we need to talk about. This isn't healthy."

I'd clearly taken the wind out of his sails, as he visibly deflated at those words. "What isn't healthy?"

"I know, and _you_ know, if you look deeply enough, that what you feel for Haruhi isn't strictly paternal. Heck, it isn't even anywhere near _fraternal_."

"But I--"

"Tamaki, I know how much this host club means to you, and how happy it makes you to look at it as a family. But the fact remains that you and Haruhi's father don't look at Haruhi in anywhere remotely resembling the same ways."

Tamaki started to pout. I started getting a headache. This wasn't going as planned. "Explain how we're different, Kyouya. I want to hear the explanation."

"Do you really, Tamaki? Well then, let me oblige you. First of all, your protective instincts are different. Ranka-san wants to protect Haruhi's innocence for its own sake, so that she can remain unsullied in his eyes. You, on the other hand, wouldn't mind Haruhi being 'sullied' if it were you doing the sullying. And before you contradict me, think about it."

Tamaki frowned and folded his arms. He looked as if he were about to speak, but I interrupted before he could start. He needed to straighten this out.

"Secondly, Tamaki, Ranka-san does not entertain fantasies of his daughter in bridal wear. Occasionally he'd like to see her dress more feminine, but he doesn't obsess over her appearance as you do. That is more behavior of a lover than of a father."

Tamaki started to turn vaguely green, but I had to convince him that he did not feel as Haruhi's father. There was the potential for disaster here. "Lastly, Ranka-san is not _jealous_ of the attention his daughter pays to other men--he simply just doesn't want her to grow up. You want to be the only object of her attention, in a completely different manner than Ranka-san."

Tamaki was turning pale now, but in case he hadn't gotten it, I spelled it out clearly. "Tamaki, the difference between you and Ranka-san is not that you aren't related to Haruhi by blood while he is. No, the difference is that you treat Haruhi as a lover while he treats her as a daughter. Yes, your manner and his bear a slight resemblance to each other, but the motives behind it aren't the same. Thus, you have to stop thinking of Haruhi as your daughter--it isn't accurate, and it's more than vaguely disturbing."

At that, Tamaki turned and fled. I could only hope I'd gotten through to him, and that he'd begin to see how he was actually looking at Haruhi.

Tamaki came to see me the next day, and apologized for running out on my (perfectly rational) explanation. It seemed something about what I'd said struck a chord, for I didn't hear Tamaki call Haruhi "Daughter" again. Step 1 completed successfully, now on to Step 2.

* * *

Step 2 was Haruhi, and was slightly more difficult. See, Haruhi had struck a chord in me from the first. Something about how mature yet naive she was had captivated me, and it was amazing to watch her blossom in the host club. I admired the way she rolled with everything I dealt her, and yet retained a unique personality.

The day I realized I couldn't have her was the day everyone went to the beach. Yes, I was frightening Haruhi partly for Tamaki's sake (because I knew he would never manage to get his point across to her on his own), but I also wanted her. Very badly. I was very close to at least kissing her, showing her how much I wanted to go through with it, but when she told me that I wouldn't do it because I would get nothing out of it, I knew that she didn't yet see _me_. She saw the "shadow king," but that wasn't all of who I was. So I let her go, and watched her grow into the person she is now.

Unlike Tamaki, I knew what I felt had no resemblance to parental pride. But she was captivated by Tamaki, ensnared by the princely personality, and kept by the insecurities he showed only to his closest friends. I just had to get her to realize that perhaps the two of them as a couple wouldn't be such a bad thing (despite Tamaki's first impression on her father).

Haruhi would be a lot easier than Tamaki to convince, I knew, because she already knew what she felt. The hard part would be cornering her without Tamaki noticing--ever since he'd come to realize how he felt about her, Tamaki never let her out of his sight.

Never let it be said that I am above using the money I was born into for my own purposes. This time I invited everyone sailing on my family's yacht. Tamaki took to the idea like he did to every new thing--his exuberance knew no bounds. And because none of the Host Club had ever been on my boat before, I knew they'd each go exploring for different things. And there was the added bonus that I knew Haruhi had seasickness issues.

Haruhi wasn't difficult to find--she was in the galley, searching for anti-seasickness pills. Naturally, I first helped her locate them, made sure she took them, and carefully made sure that they'd had time to take effect before I brought up the subject of Tamaki. Naturally, she turned as red as a tomato--I suppose she didn't think I'd noticed. That kind of reaction played perfectly into my plans.

"Haruhi, I've noticed the way you look at Tamaki. It's obvious you like him."

Haruhi started sputtering, which meant I'd shaken her composure. Good. "Well, of course I like him--he's fairly likable. Everyone likes him, so what's so special about me liking him that you had to bring it up?"

I shook my head. "No, Haruhi, you're deliberately misunderstanding me, and you should know by now that I'm not stupid, nor am I anywhere near blind. You like Tamaki in a less platonic way than the rest of us do."

Haruhi didn't meet my eyes. "Well... maybe. So what if I do? It's not as if anything good could come of it anyway. It's not as if I'm special to him or anything."

I couldn't believe my ears. What was she, _blind_? I didn't see anyone else even remotely as special to Tamaki as she was.

"Haruhi, are you insane? Do you see him paying anyone else as much attention as he pays you? Even outside the times when he's acting as Prince Charming, he's focused on you. As I said, I'm not blind, and you shouldn't pretend I am."

Haruhi's flush, which had momentarily disappeared, returned. "Do you really think he's interested in me the same way I'm interested in him?

Ah, Haruhi. One of the things I've never understood about her was how she could be so smart yet so incredibly thick. "Yes, Haruhi, I know so. Notice how he hasn't called you daughter in a while, yet he still showers the same attention on you? He's very interested. And furthermore, I think you two would be a good match--you two balance each other in ways you seem to be oblivious to."

Haruhi finally met my eyes. "Thanks, Kyouya. I'll think about it." Steady on her feet now, she left the room, clearly pensive.

* * *

Step 3 was the most risky--not to anyone but myself, of course. See, Step 3 involved conspiring with Haruhi to force Tamaki's hand.

I let Haruhi think it was her idea--eventually, when it looked like things weren't headed anywhere, she came up to me and asked if it would be alright if she flirted with me to get Tamaki to ask her out. Step 3 wasn't only dangerous to me physically (if Tamaki flew off the handle, I could potentially be harmed), but to my mental state--how could I pretend to adore Haruhi only to hand her off to my other love to begin a blissful courtship? If anything was likely to force me to acknowledge how much I'd left myself out of their ring of happiness, it was this. But that was it, though--they'd both be happy, and that was what mattered, wasn't it? So I agreed.

It was at the next Host Club dance that Haruhi decided to completely monopolize my attention. She wouldn't let me dance with anyone else, talk to anyone else, _think_ about anyone else. I know it must have looked pretty odd to the invited guests--after all, they still thought Haruhi was male--but I didn't care. I let myself forget that she was only doing this to get Tamaki's attention, and took her devotion at face value. It was as close to a real relationship as I was probably going to get.

It only took 21 dances (each of which I'd savored) for Tamaki (who'd been first dumbstruck, then miffed, then _furious_) to step in between us and confess to Haruhi how he felt about her. As I gracefully stepped aside, I marveled at the bittersweet thrill of micromanagement--_I_ enabled their happiness, even if it came at the expense of my own.

* * *

It was probably the most amusing interaction of the season when they revealed it to the rest of the Host Club--they all reacted exactly as I thought they would. Mori nodded, silent as usual, while Hunni suggested that they all have some strawberry-topped cake to celebrate. Hikaru just gaped, unable to believe that he'd lost Haruhi to his idiot lord. Kaoru looked utterly torn between relief at not having to compete with Haruhi for Hikaru's affection and commiseration with his brother. And I... I just smirked, letting everyone know that I'd known this was coming, even if they hadn't. Me, I knew from the beginning.

Far more amusing were the reactions of our customers. At first, everyone was shocked to learn that Tamaki was gay (Tamaki didn't seem to be in too much of a rush to correct them). Then they went through their requisite tears over losing two members of the Host Club. Then they were ecstatic over how "fitting" it all was (even Renge, who I would have thought to be the one most upset over it--she seemed to latch onto the marketing possibilities of the new relationship pretty quickly). Finally, at long last, everyone realized that they wouldn't necessarily be losing Tamaki and Haruhi, and recruited their friends to witness the beautiful relationship. See, not only were Tamaki and Haruhi good for each other, they were good for business. So what if my self-congratulations felt a little hollow?

* * *

Haruhi and Tamaki were blissfully happy for a month. They'd managed to overcome Tamaki's grandmother's explicit disapproval and Ranka-san's misgivings. Tamaki's father even gloated because he'd predicted the whole affair in the first place. That month I spent torn between my own loneliness and happiness for the two of them. At least I could still interact with them as I had before I'd set them up--neither of them seemed all too willing to abandon me for each other. After that month, though, Tamaki and Haruhi both cornered me as I was balancing Hunni's sweet tooth with the sales from the Host Club Merchandise. Both of them stood by my desk, silent, until I dropped the calculator, stood, and turned toward them.

Tamaki spoke first. "Mom, we have something to tell you." I frowned, and he grinned. "Yes, I know that you said this family fixation wasn't healthy, but you only told me I had to stop calling Haruhi my daughter. You didn't say anything about calling you Mom." At that, I looked over at Haruhi--she wasn't supposed to know anything about my helping hand in getting those two sorted out. "Yes, we both know how big of a hand you had in getting us together, and we wanted to say thank you," Haruhi said, then smiled.

Well, if that was all they were going to say, they could just say it and get going, couldn't they? No need to draw the whole thing out, mocking me with the fact that they had each other while I had neither of them. I saw them exchange a quick glance, which made me rather nervous, since I had no idea what the two together were capable of plotting.

"Actually," Tamaki started, "that isn't all we wanted from you. Haruhi assures you that neither she nor you would mind too terribly much if I did this." With that, Tamaki stepped forward and kissed me.

As I was still trying to process the fact that Tamaki--_Tamaki!_--was kissing me--_me?_--after I'd set him up so beautifully with Haruhi, which was taking all of the brain power I had at the moment, Haruhi somehow appeared behind me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and whispered in my ear, "Of course I wouldn't mind. Actually, I think it's rather hot." Then she started licking my ear. At that, I decided that I needed to get some air, some breathing space, and some explanation before my brain exploded (which it had never been in danger of doing before--not even when I first met Tamaki). I reluctantly broke the kiss, looked at Tamaki, and said, "Explain."

Then I heard words coming from the wrong direction. "Well, you see, the truth is, Kyouya, both of us have wanted you for a very long time." Haruhi's words were muffled by my back, where she'd moved once she ceased licking my ear. At that I blinked, convinced that I was dreaming (or having a nightmare, seeing as how it would be a cruel, cruel awakening when I woke up). Tamaki chuckled at my look of confusion. "It's true. I've wanted to do that for almost longer than I can remember."

"How long?"

"Since I first met you—you don't think I nuzzle just anyone, do you?" I got sudden flashbacks to the time Mori had to pry Tamaki from Haruhi. "And before you start with your logic, Haruhi is special, too."

As I was processing this, I looked over my shoulder at Haruhi. "And you? What brought this on on your part?"

"I admit, it wasn't love at first sight like it was for Tamaki, but as I got to know you, I couldn't help being more and more drawn to you. There are sides of you that you don't reveal to anyone outside of the Host Club that give very, very vague clues as to what makes you tick, but it's not as if anyone knows. So on one hand you intrigue me. On the other, once anyone looks past the 'shadow king' façade, you're very likable. Not like Tamaki (believe me, you don't leak exuberance like he does), but likable in a different way. And there's the fact that you're attractive, all of which together makes you irresistible." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tamaki nodding.

"But you two are so happy together, there's no room for me."

"That's where you're wrong, Kyouya." The loss of the pet name made me turn around and meet Tamaki's eyes. "There always has been room for you. There always will be room for you. Even before I met Haruhi I couldn't stand the thought of not having you around, and now that I'm with her it's no different. The only difference is that now there are two of us wanting you, instead. And yes, we love each other very much, but having you in our relationship is important to us."

"Why didn't either of you say anything beforehand?" To my surprise, Haruhi spoke first.

"I could never read you, Kyouya—you're always so cryptic. I never wanted to make a mistake in reading your opinions, because I knew it'd affect how you saw me for the rest of our years here, if not the rest of our lives. I'd much rather play it on the safe side."

I turned to Tamaki. "And you?"

"You never gave me any indication that you could have possibly been interested. When you started pushing me towards Haruhi, it seemed as if my suspicions were confirmed, and that you didn't think of me that way. Yes, I'm grateful for you setting me up with Haruhi—we do need each other as much as you likely think we do. What you didn't take into account, though, was how much we needed you."

I shook my head. "How could I have missed this?"

I felt Haruhi smile into my shirt. Her muffled words were, "We're all blind when it comes to ourselves, Kyouya. That's why you need us. Though it takes two of us to notice as much as you do, you need someone to notice things about you that you can't notice about yourself. A symbiotic relationship, beneficial to everyone involved." Those words sounded vaguely familiar, though I couldn't quite place where I'd heard them before. Before I could think of it, though, Tamaki gently turned my face with his hands and said, "Now, where were we? Ah, yes, I think I remember now. I was finally getting to kiss the man I'd been in love with for years now, and it seemed as if he was going to kiss me back." And as his lips met mine for the second time, I thought (in the brief space before all thought fled), that perhaps this situation was better for all involved, and that maybe, just maybe, I could account for my own happiness as well next time I made plans.


End file.
